Burned By The Midnight Oil

Usually, my east-west jetlag is much worse than my west-east. This recent trip back to the motherland has proved the exception, however. Last night, night 5, was easily the worst so far. Knowing I have an 11-hour work shift today with three two-and-a-half-hour lectures, I climbed into bed at 11:30 PM, and immediately fell into a deep sleep.

Only to wake up at 12:45 AM.

And remained awake.

The. Rest. Of. The. Night.

A lot passed through my head in those long seconds, minutes, and hours as I watched the clock tick by from 12:45 until 7:00 AM, when I had to get up and trudge, zombie-like through the streets and subways of Tokyo to my workplace.

Things I thought about at some point of the night included:

1. Is my apartment building haunted? Conclusion: I don't know. Possibly. If it is, then my ghost is very well-behaved, settling for gently opening a single cabinet in my kitchen from time to time.

2. What kind of work does my new neighbor do that he comes home at 3:00 AM and immediately does not one, but THREE loads of laundry every night? Conclusion: I'd rather not know, but it might explain where the ghost came from.

3. Should I get up and go to 7-11 to buy a snack? Conclusion: I couldn't be bothered, instead settling for a very stale cookie someone gave me as a souvenir from their trip to Thailand. In October.

4. Do I find Lea Michele from "Glee" attractive? Conclusion: From 1:00-3:00 AM, yes. From 3:00-5:45 AM, not really. 5:45-6:00 AM, easily the most attractive woman who has ever walked the face of the earth. 6:00-7:00 AM, when I finally awoke, sometimes.

5. Is that a U.S. nickel I can see on the far corner floor of my bedroom? Conclusion: Possibly Canadian. From my bed I couldn't tell if that was Thomas Jefferson or Queen Elizabeth stamped on it. That probably says unflattering things about both of their profiles.

6. How long will that guy in the big Mercedes stay parked in the street with his motor running? Conclusion: I guessed 45 minutes. Actual elapsed time: 2 hours, 5 minutes.

7. Would I feel more comfortable if I were wearing wool socks? Conclusion: I would.

8. Do I feel like getting up out of bed to fetch wool socks? Conclusion: I did not.

9. What is the largest piece of furniture I would be able to pick up and throw through my window? Conclusion: None of my windows are wide enough for my bed, so it would probably be the bookcase I keep my DVDs and CDs in.

10. Will I ever fall back to sleep again tonight, or will I be an absolute shambles in the office tomorrow? Conclusion: the second one.

*Sigh*